


burnt tinder and glowing ashes (we're rekindling our love)

by amelioratedays



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3581913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelioratedays/pseuds/amelioratedays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum reckons he's a blue flame and Jinyoung is oxygen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	burnt tinder and glowing ashes (we're rekindling our love)

**Author's Note:**

> Remix of lahdeedah000's fic "rekindle" because JJP are the eternal boyfriends and all we ever talk about is why JJP is the best thing ever. ;___; You're still writing a continuation for this, right? :(

The stove stops working one day, and Jaebum is left trying to put together the portable gas range in order to reheat the soup that his mother had sent over that morning. He spends five minutes assembling the device before turning the valve--fire blossoming with a tick.

 

It's a blue flame--more carbon monoxide than oxygen--he notices before covering it with the steel pot and transferring the soup from the ceramic container into the pot. He lowers the flame to a boil and sits at the kitchen table, tapping his fingers idly on the surface.

 

 

 

Jaebum reckons he's like that of a blue flame--sometimes white even--where his anger overtakes him and everyone around him is left wondering why the blue, that they once thought was from ice, burns everything in its path. He's gotten a lot better these past years though--having that one regretful memory of exploding at the company due to the hidden camera, he's learned to keep his flame to a flicker since then. He doesn't risk the chance of being extinguished due to his lack of self-restraint.

 

Fire, he realizes, is a double edged blade.

Jaebum is fire and Jinyoung is his fuel--his oxygen.

 

There's a delicate balance between them, an equilibrium set up after years of testing boundaries and drawing lines to their relationship. It's after all those times he's felt around in the dark for Jinyoung's hand, the times where he pushes too far--too harshly--and Jinyoung still holds him close after he finally calms down and the aftermath of burning down an entire city hits him like a tidal wave. Jinyoung is the one who paints his blue flame orange.

 

He's planting the flowers of Edo, and Jinyoung is the wind that flourishes his flames but Jaebum is also the flicker of a candlelight and Jinyoung is the draft of wind that extinguishes him.

 

More often than not, Jaebum is the one that is overpowering their interactions and he knows that he's selfish and possesive--insecure that Jinyoung would leave him; even though he knows that he won't. (But there's always a conscious part of him that reminds him that he _can_.) Jinyoung is the oxygen that fuels life and of all things, he chose Jaebum--the vessel of destruction. He knows that his love is too much to bear, but Jaebum doesn't want to let go. He simply wants to hold Jinyoung in his arms until the end of time, he's not selfless enough to let go because he burns Jinyoung in the process.

 

 

 

The unlocking of the front door breaks him from his thoughts and Jaebum shifts his head towards the sound source--stepping up from his bed to open his door. "We need to talk," he says, stopping Jinyoung on his way to his room. Youngjae takes this as a sign--slipping past the door to settle in the youngest members' room instead.

 

"Where were you?" He interrogates once Jinyoung steps foot inside his room.

 

"Out." The other mumbles.

 

"Where?" Jaebum asks despite already knowing the answer--Jinyoung's shirt blatantly reeks of musk and alcohol. It's not much about the answer, it's more about the question and why he has to ask the question in the first place. Jinyoung doesn't respond, evading him as he turns; "I don't want to talk right now."

 

Jaebum pulls him back, grabbing onto his wrist forcefully and he watches as Jinyoung tugs his arm away--as if Jaebum is scalding his skin. "I'm sick of this!" he hisses, and Jaebum grabs onto his shirt this time.  "Let go," Jinyoung spits out. He's holding on too tightly but Jaebum doesn't care, rage flaring up as he shouts, " _You're_ sick of this?!" He tries to process that Jinyoung's wincing but he's too angry--burning everything including himself. "I'm not the one acting like an irresponsible five year old!"

 

"What have I done that's irresponsible?" Jinyoung retaliates, he's pushing back this time--excess oxygen flaming the combustion around them.

 

"Coming back at 2 AM isn't irresponsible?"

 

"We had this morning off!" There's hurt in his eyes but all Jaebum sees is red and he knows that this will only engulf him in the end.

 

"You didn't tell anyone!"

 

"Im Jaebum! Do you think I would ever jeopardize the team like that? Who do you think I am? I told manager hyung! I had permission!"

 

"Well you didn't tell _me_!" Jaebum bellows, and his voice resonates within the tiny room. It echoes until it fades into a buzz--silence invading their eardrums until there's a faint ringing in his cerebral cortex. They've strung together the war ships, burning them one by one as the fire sets them ablaze in sequential order. "Of course. Because it's always about _you_." Jinyoung speaks this time, voice soft unlike Jaebum's. "Had it not occurred to you that maybe there was a _reason_ why I didn't tell you? That maybe I just wanted some space to _myself_ and _breathe_? That maybe it had _nothing_ to do with you and everything to _me_ , that I just needed to get away?" He speaks too quickly, running out of breath as words spill from his mind and it _hurts_. It hurts because Jaebum remembers that he is fire--burning bridges and murdering the oxygen. He's turning everything into carbon dioxide and Jinyoung can't breathe.

 

"Always about me." He says with wounded pride. "Me, worrying about the sick idiot running around in the middle of the night who had just managed to get his fever to break hours before. Who probably just made himself more sick. Right, I forgot." His words are venom and selfish, but Jaebum doesn't think--he just knows that he's hurt and if so, then Jinyoung will hurt as well. He's a hypocritical mess, irrational and unfair with his double standards and useless ego. "Get out." He says, head pounding and heart clenching. The fire is inside him, black smoke filling his lungs.

 

 

 

When the door clicks with a close, Jaebum falls onto the floor. He's sitting in a pile of debris--ashes from that he has burned, and there's no more oxygen in the room. Everything is seemingly carbon dioxide and the dihydrogen monoxide makes its way from his tear duct to his cheek. He fumbles to grab onto Jinyoung's sweatshirt (the one that he had left in Jaebum's room the week before), clutching it close to heart as if he believed that the remnants of air will clear the smog in his lungs. He inhales, and there's still the lingering smell of Jinyoung's cologne--ester groups binding to the receptors of his nerves. It distracts him, and he pretends the burnt smell of wood isn't there.

 

 

 

The door opens carefully bringing with it a slight draft of air, hidden embers faintly glowing in the charcoal ashes. (Their love doesn't die.) Jinyoung holds him, sinking down to meet him like always, and Jaebum knows he's the undeserving one. He breathes again, diatomic particles making their way into his lungs, binding to hemoglobin so that his blood runs again.

 

"We're both still as stubborn as ever, aren't we?" Jinyoung speaks and Jaebum is finally calm enough to pick up the details of the younger male--his pale lips and bloodshot eyes, dried up tears at his cheeks. His hands are too cold and Jaebum remembers that Jinyoung still hasn't fully recuperated from his fever. It makes him hate himself more, how he's loving Jinyoung in such destructive ways.

 

Jinyoung smiles at him, a small wavering upturn of the corners of his lips and Jaebum thinks Jinyoung will forever be the most beautiful thing he's ever set his sight on. "On three?" The younger boy asks and Jaebum nods, breath leaving him alongside fumbled up words.

 

"One."

 

"Two."

 

"Three--"

 

 

 

Jaebum reckons that he's a blue flame--toxic and unwanted--fueled by carbon monoxide. More often than not, his only thoughts are to consume and burn. (He doesn’t really care if he burns along with everything else.) But he also reckons that Jinyoung is oxygen, air that knows how to pinpoint his vulnerabilities and embrace his flaws until he is an unthreatening orange. And it's then that Jaebum is capable of providing warmth and light--where he doesn't set everything ablaze.

 

 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"I love you."

 

 

 

Jinyoung isn't afraid of the dark, as he tiptoes out of his room in the middle of the night--maneuvering his way around by memory. He's simply afraid of the absence of light, and he finally reaches Jaebum's room. Turning the doorknob, he pushes the door gently. There's a faint glow in the room, sepia tainted candlelight that warms his cold extremities, and he smiles.

 

Jaebum returns his smile, shifting aside for Jinyoung to climb inside the covers as well. He moves closer, pressing his cold fingers to Jaebum's neck. "You're my flame of hope," he whispers before pressing a kiss to Jaebum's lips.

 

"And you're my air." Jaebum whispers back against his lips, warm breath tingling his senses as night falls.

 

 

 

There's a delicate balance between them and he reckons that the entirety of this world won't be able to shift them from this equilibrium.

 

**Author's Note:**

> TJ, this is probably the only happy ending you'll get out of me and that's only because you wrote it like this. ; n; I will angst Jaebum until I reach my grave. :(((( Please write me all the JJP in the world.


End file.
